So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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