...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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