Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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