Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize