so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
