Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
