Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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