i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
