Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
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