Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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