somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
