Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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