You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
