also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
