marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
