if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
