i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
