I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
