I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
