So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
