how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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