I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize