There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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