I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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