a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
they're like a gay fantastic four
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
