I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
