he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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