...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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