is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
