i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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