Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
