Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
this hospital has no fireball
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
