Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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