Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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