Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
