I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
