When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
