woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
