break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Do vagina's smell?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
