I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You took a bar mat shot.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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