My girlfriend figured out who you are.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
