I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
