I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
