another moral hangover. fuck.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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