Dual....:-)
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
