haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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