Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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