he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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