Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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