Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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