mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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