Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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