We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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