Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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