its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
