Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
