i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
