All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
