It's like a parade of train wrecks.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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