Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
