Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize