Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
