coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
