: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
