so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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