I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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