Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
