I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
