I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
