So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We just shotgunned beers for America
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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