it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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