you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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