We're like a lot better than the average bears
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
why do cheetos always look like penises
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
