is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize