Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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