my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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