Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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