I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize