I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
